Is it just me or everyone's feeling the year's coming to the end? Last week I was literally recovering from C's birthday. It's a very small celebration so to be honest, it was more like taking the time and wearing off that sugar high.
Just prior to her birthday, I bought 10 meters of black cotton lycra. It's not easy to find 100% cotton knits here in fabric stores, so this time I went straight to the local manufacter -- Rotex Fabrics. I didn't even wince at their minimum order meterage. Black and knits combo means there's plenty opportunity for me to use it up, plus post-cake-baking syndrome can only be cured with monotonous sewing.
The down side is, while you are sewing something that you are so familiar with, your brain tend to drift off.
You know, as much as I'd like to stay optimistic, half of the time I don't know why I am doing what I am doing. I feel I've stopped growing since I became a mom. Yes, I've learnt to sew and cook, but how much credit is it going to add on my resume? Will I ever be working for a big company and wear my heels again? I went to town the other morning to just sit in the car and watch people, and imagine what their daily office rituals are like. Sometimes, I really wish for a routine that doesn't involve endless meal planning, or repeating myself so many times to get my daughter to put on her shoes... I also wish I could just be a relax housewife who happily spend the day in spas or sipping coffee with friends. See, I look like a failure in either catagory.
Deep deep down, I know this nonprofitable job title "Mom" that comes with a ton of descriptions is going to be stuck with me for a while and I have no intention to quit -- not that it's an option. It's the very title that has shaped me to be who I am today. I think by not sewing so many black tees at a time will be a good starting point to get my head right. Or, simply look at what my photo bomber has done to my display.